like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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