Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
so explain again why im purple
no
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
