I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Randomize
