I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
one might say we're banned from that church
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
