Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
