Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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