this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
