My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
she was so not down for the gang bang
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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