I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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