ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
