when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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