I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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