I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm gonna fight the coyote
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
