let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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