i wish peter jackson would direct porn
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
