Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
