i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
