i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
