Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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