I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
