When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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