kristin has been a bad kristin
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
