It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize