And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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