I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
