i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
