nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
How does one acquire holy water?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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