We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
