Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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