Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
