My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
