You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
