ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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