all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
