Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
