Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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