hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
