They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just want to make out with him forever
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
