Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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