so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So vagazzling was a success
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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