I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
