Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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