were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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