duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
