I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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