planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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