erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
