You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
