her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Randomize
