Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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