Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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