i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
