In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
