I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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