Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
