I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
It's blow job season.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Holy sore nipples Batman
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
